He'd have liked to've kissed Nadeshiko
by MistressFi
Summary: A different take to revealing Nagihiko's identity from where Kukai stands because heartbreak hurts.
1. Damn those cookies

**He'd have liked to've kissed Nadeshiko**

**Hello... :D**

It's a _long boring_ story as to how I came up with this idea, so I won't bother filling up the page with my awesome ramble. It's my first one-shot, and it's gonna be in two or three parts depending. Oh, and the intro might confuse ya a bit. Roll with it. **;) **Warning of language and, well, _possibly mature themed_? naah.

* * *

**PART I - **

When Souma Kukai got to Seiyo Elementary that morning, he had been curious as to what Tadase had meant when he said "There's a surprise for you." Slightly concerning but as it had been Tadase who said it, he decided to play along and meet him.

So when he got there and had the fright of his life.

Because _she_ had been there, _Fujisaki Nadeshiko_, the beautiful bright eyed purple head. Kukai couldn't even begin to describe how happy he had been to see her. They had been great friends, the times when she was fun to tease, fun to joke with... and she was really beautiful. A challenging active girl. Just as Kukai liked them. True, most people associated her with Tadase, but on the rare occasions people claimed her to "have a thing" with the Jacks chair- well, Kukai had blushed at the meer thought. _Well why not?_ Kukai was a sportsman, they liked competition and being a good team player- Nadeshiko was simply a girl who could do both. Why wouldn't he "have a thing" for her? No, to others they were polite companions, especially as Kukai was always warmer to Yaya loving her childish attitude like he would a little sister, but behind closed doors, he told Nadeshiko his thoughts, his problems and she sympathized with him, she made him feel better- usually with cookies.

_Damn those cookies_. Kukai thought.

And, when she left, it wasn't as if Kukai had been heartbroken. Much. They were just good friends. His minor crush at most. He would miss her and always look for the day when she would return. Except... when she did return... would things be the same for them? Could Kukai count on her after Gym to talk about that pesky new "I know how to play- you don't, captain" player or to get help studying with in the Royal Gardens for the Math paper? Would she be interested in him? Would anything happen between them? It did seem so unlikely that when she returned that she may ever "have a thing" for him, and yes the thought did make him disappointed, let down, conscious of his appearance.

_Oh, face it Kukai, you like her._

So he did... a little. Who couldn't like Nadeshiko a little? Before Hinamori came along, Nadeshiko was number one on the boys Charts. Childish, immature, yes, but Kukai had secretly agreed. No way was he a man to express such feelings, but he, along with many others, would have liked to have kissed Nadeshiko.

She looked so pretty standing there proud and confident yet so humble. Their eyes met in a gaze which seemed to scream attraction at each other. Kukai was ready to hug her, but kept himself composed. There had never been a clear thing between them. To make a scene would confuse them both. Hang on... weren't girls interested in being swept off their feet in a romantic gesture? Maybe not all, but feminine Nadeshiko might. Kukai wasn't at all sure what possessed his brain to start thinking and acting as he did, but he did. Putting on a slightly cocky attitude with his normal bemused grin, he nearly said, 'Now your back, wanna date?' before Tadase broke the mood by suggesting she change.

And it took five minutes, less than that, and emerging from behind a closet door, to discover that Nadeshiko was, in fact, a boy.

Now, Souma Kukai of-the-many-brothers, was not a boy with anything against other boys who liked boys, but a boy who defended the rights of said boys. Likewise with the cross-dressers; he wasn't one but he would stick up for the ones who where. So to find his friend was actually a cross-dressing boy wasn't something he would normal find so hard to deal with if it wasn't for the fact he had a blooming great crush on her- him, oh _great_, now it was a _him_. Kukai was bitter with the whole affair, hoping beyond hope it was a nasty joke. Kukai wasn't gay, yet he had been attracted to another boy for a good couple of years. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to him.

But it wasn't just that- he felt like he had lost a friend. Nadeshiko never existed, instead there was a complete stranger who knew all his secrets, private life and dreams- stuff that isn't repeated to other friends. To stress it again- no one else knew of Kukais secrets, but in the sparkling hazel eyes belonging to Fujisaki, those secrets lurked. He hadn't told Nadeshiko, who's confidence and discretion he had trusted, but Nagihiko to whom he knew nothing about and trusted even less now. He couldn't bring himself to blame deceiving Nadeshiko; Kukai hated this new Jack for completely unfair reasons, and the hate remained.

_Why. Why Nadeshiko? Why couldn't Hinamori or Mashiro be a boy instead? Why her?_

"Souma-kun, are you still coming around mine tonight?" Tadase asked. Snapping Kukai back to reality, he realized he had agreed to spend the night over at a friends, as had all the many Souma brothers, as Big-Souma-Brother-Number-One had invited a girl over.

He could have told Nadeshiko that, and they would have laughed, and Kukai would have listened to how beautifully the laughter left her lips...

"Oh, um, yeah." he replied eventually, trying to hide his disappointment but failing. Nagihiko looked down at the ground, and then mumbled something about needing to speak to Tsukasa.

Once Nagihiko had closed the door behind him carefully, Tadase looked at Kukai sit against the desk, worriedly.

"Souma-kun?" Tadase asked.

"Hm?" Kukai asked, staring at the floor because if he looked up the lights were bound to make his eyes water.

"... you're the first person Fujisaki-kun agreed to tell."

"Yeah." Kukai responded absentmindedly.

"Mashiro-san... Yuiki-san... Hinamori-san... they don't know yet."

Kukai felt like scowling. _All right Tadase, you made your point, Nadeshiko's a fucking boy, I GET IT._

"He's really worried about telling Hinamori-san, so-"

Kukai stood up, looking at his friend angrily. He had always been Tadase's friend, and adviser, sometimes going as far as calling him a mini-brother of sorts, but the thing which never went the other way was comprehending each other. How could Tadase... just expect him to deal with this? His old crush was an illusion, avatar, a _lie_... he had just lost someone so dear to him in a way Tadase could _never_ understand.

Once he met the blonds eyes with his own stinging ones, Kukai smiled. Tadase was young, he wouldn't get it, so Kukai had to control himself and solve his own problems. He had a reputation to keep going, a reputation as the Guardians Big Brother, the stead-fast student, the one they all looked up to.

"It'll be fine." Kukai grinned, "a new Jack... it'll be fine. Heh... isn't it always the exchange students?"

"The what?" Tadase asked, tilting his head to the side confused.

"The exchange students," Kukai repeated, smiling even wider but slightly freakish now, "you know... first Hinamori came and got the unique roll of joker... then Mashiro and Sanjo come, and now... him..." Kukai was appalled to hear his voice cracking, and had to run now.

He flew at the door, yelling the first thing that came to mind, "Crud, the stove! See you later, Tadase!" before bolting out the door and down the corridor, closing his eyes tightly but unable to stop the tears. He didn't need to see where he was going; he knew Seiyo Elementary like the back of his hand from the days when he used to walk around with _Nadeshiko_...

* * *

A classroom door was slightly ajar, and Nagihiko was peering out of the daring inch crack, watching his old friend spin around a corner out of sight. It seemed his friends weren't taking it well. Were they his friends? No, they were Nadeshikos friends, and he shouldn't have told them who he was until he became their friend.

_Way to go and make it awkward, Nagihiko_. he scolded himself.

Souma had always had a soft spot for Nadeshiko, he had known that, hence why he never played along and was always grateful when Kukai didn't take the hidden turn downs as punches to their friendship. Heck, he doubted whenever Kukai even realized he did it.

But... he had looked so sad... and so _hurt_...

Tadase had invited them both over at his house tonight, and Nagihiko knew it was an attempt to try and get them to act normal. It wasn't even like he would have to see Kukai everyday anymore- he had made especially sure to leave when Kukai did and return as himself for this reason- so why couldn't Tadase invite Yuiki-san, or the other two over-? Oh yeah... girls.

He was distracted, remembering the time he invited Amu over his house to sleep over, and she had been none the wiser. Her face if he ever told her... he almost chuckled, until he remembered Kukai's horrified, yes _horrified_, expression. Then he let out a painful sigh, for this was the sacrifice that he had never really been prepared to make.

* * *

Kukai was lying face down on his bed, head stuffed deep into his pillow in attempts to block out reality, Daichi sitting beside him kicking his little legs. The stove had never been on, but Kukai had let out quiet sobs for the last half hour since he arrived home. It was never shameful to cry as Kukai knew and frequently told others, but he had never been the one crying himself before. And if his brothers saw...  
His fist thumped the pillow hard, Daichi just avoiding the fist.

"Hey!" Daichi protested. Kukai ignored him. Daichi was good for sport, but not for dealing with this. "Kukai?" He put his hand on Kukai's shoulder gently and asked softly, "Kukai, what's wrong?"

After what seemed like eternity but was really just a long breath, Kukai whispered and howled, "I loved her, Daichi!"

* * *

**End of PART I - **

It's a little off score if I do say so myself.. **:s** and I'm not best at getting Kukais' character right, espech as I haven't watched **S.C** in some time. I still want to know any thoughts on this, so please **R**&**R**. _(Btw- I know neither are gay. Cute if they were, no? No. Okay. Well if there's **Kukai X Ikuto** fics there's gonna be a damn** Kukai X Nagi** _(hinted)_ fic. Though I do support Rimahiko!)_

**Thanks for Reading!**


	2. Every guy likes floss

**He'd have liked to've kissed Nadeshiko**

**Hallo. :D**

Took me long enough, no? I'm very sorry about the wait. And a BIG thanks to reviewers, who'll have been PM'd, and to those who favorite. And you guys for reading. Yeah, YOU. **:)**

* * *

**Part II-**

The Souma dinner table was different that evening. Normally between the hours of 6.00 and 6.30pm the dining room would be loud, noisy, full of the munching teens, the clatter of miniature cutlery fights and the occasional roars of the eldest brother, Kaidou, requesting they "shut their trap holes". This time, Kukai was silent at the dinner table. He hadn't been able to each much (his brothers quickly nicked the rest) and had sat sipping at his water while his brothers argued over what Big-Souma-Brother-Number-One was going to be doing tonight.

"Just keep it in _your_ room, alright?" Rento joked.

"Dude, inexperienced child, here!" Shuusui laughed, motioning at Kukai. Rather than his usual response of retort, tackle and fight back, Kukai merely stood up, his chair screeching so painfully on the floor the brothers fell silent, and walked away towards his bedroom to pack an overnight bag. Did he want to stay the night? No, but the alternate was listening to his brother and a girlfriend make merry music. Unintentionally, he furiously punched his pajamas into his bag.

"Kukai?" asked the knock on the door. Kukai shuddered. It had to be serious, because his brothers never knocked.

"Yeah what?" he asked, not turning around but keeping occupied with his things. _Toothbrush? Check! Floss... every guy likes floss... check! _

The door opened but the figure remained in the doorway. "Kukai, what's wrong?"

_My old crush turns out to be a bloke? Check_. "Nothing, I'm just packing-"

"Don't mess with me." Kaidou growled, closing the door behind him. "I want to know you'll be okay tonight."

_Yeah, always assume that Kukai's never got problems, that he only worries about his soccer ball, and who makes the team, because what else could he possibly give a damn over?_ "I'll be fine. Almost done."

There was a moment of quiet. "When I was little, and Shuusui was just a baby, I was down. I didn't get the attention I wanted, and our parents didn't let me help look after him. I felt really alone and not trusted. I cared for the kid, even if I resented it a little, and I never wanted to intentionally hurt it. One time, our parents were in the other room, and on the kitchen floor Shuusui was motioning to his bottle on the kitchen worktop." with a harsh chuckle, he went on, "I toddled over, climbing up to reach it but as I was so short I caught it, slipped and split hot- well warm, it really wasn't that hot," he continued shiftily, "milk all across the floor and on Shuusui. It wasn't on me, so it looked like I had been no where near the place, but Shuusui was covered in it. When our parents hurried into the room, I was on the other side watching and Shuusui was chuckling away."

He paused, "I remember our parents looking at each other, smiling and then clearing it up. Dad took Shuusui into the living room to play with, Mom mopped up the spillage. I remember thinking why did Shuusui get away with that, when if they'd caught me I'd would have got into trouble. At that age, I was really young, not understanding things and I didn't know who to question."

"And your point?" Kukai asked snappily. That cute little tale of his brothers meant nothing to him.

"You're young, you're learning, you'll find things are unfair and hard on you when it's really not your fault, but you've got four brothers to talk to about them." Kaidou said quietly. No matter how small of a deal the milk-incident was, Kaidou always wished it had never happened, or he had confessed to it. He also wished he had had someone to talk to, and couldn't help feel impatient with Kukai for not accepting his help.

Kukai was silent, debating whenever Kaidou would ever let him live it down. Still, he had to ask, in case he lost it around Tadase's house. Besides, stupid ass or no stupid ass, they were brothers, and Kaidou offered.

"Have you ever... found someone to be the complete opposite from what you expected?" Kukai asked, staring at his bag forcing the sting back, "like... they come back from a long holiday and weren't who they were before?"

"Is this about a girl?" Kaidou asked sharply.

"... sort of." Kukai answered, pondering whenever he had just lied or not.

Kaidou responded exasperated, "Little bro, girls are changing all the time! One minute they're this, the next they're a completely different person!"

Kukai burst out laughing. _God, nii-san you never spoke truer._ After he eventually calmed down, wiping his eyes, he asked, "well, I'm having a hard time adjusting to change."

"So will most people. It's still the same girl though, right?"

"Er... not exactly." Kukai said shiftily.

Ignoring the quiet protest of opinion, Kaidou went on, "the same person can't change into what they're not. A nice person isn't going to become nasty for the hell of it. I think... hm... the person you knew is probably still in there, but just hiding. Perhaps you need to give it time, but feel free to spend time with any of us- except tonight, I'm busy."

"With whom?" Kukai asked with a cheeky smile, receiving a soccer ball to the head. "Hey!" His brother spoke nonsense sometimes... but it was good nonsense.

* * *

Kukai dropped his bag on the floor heavily when he saw Nagihiko standing beside Tadase with a similar overnight bag. Not just any bag, it was Nadeshiko's purple bag they went shopping for together before the ski-trip. Nadeshiko had fussed over it for hours, trying to match the colors to her typical outfit and Kukai had laughed...

"You." Kukai gasped, his chest tensing up. Daichi worriedly stuck near Kukais shoulder.

"I invited Nagihiko over as well." Tadase beamed, "mother was in a good mood, so I thought I would chance it." He led them both into the sitting room, rolling out two mats for them. It was silent between the two taller boys who avoided the others eyes. Kukai was furious at Tadase for planning this - yes the damn Seiyo Prince planned this!- because no one else could have made it so awkward for them. King, Queen, Jack, King, Jack, Jack- no it wasn't right! And no doubt Tadase would put the two guest rolling mats beside each other to top it off.

Kukai distracted himself by looking out the window at the night sky. He had walked to Tadase's so as to clear his head a little, trying to think over what to say if he had to say anything, how he had to act next time he met Nagihiko in front of the others. Polite associates. Go for that approach. He just... hadn't expected to meet the man so soon.

"Have you both eaten?" Tadase asked.

"Yes." Nagihiko responded quickly.

"Yeah." Kukai agreed. Another silence, and he moved over towards the television. He did not know what to say at all. Talk to Tadase and leave Nagihiko out, or try and include them both when he couldn't look at the purple head. _Since when had he become so rude?_

"Too late for a game." Kukai motioned at the window. Daichi left his side and joined Kiseki, quietly whispering.

"Pardon, Souma-kun?"

"I said it's too dark for a game of soccer or anything..." he repeated for Tadase with a small smile. Spotting Nagihiko smile out the corner of his eye, Kukai's grin dropped. That smile... for the brief second it lasted had none of Nadeshikos wit or smirk. It was a guys smile. Kukai began flicking through the shelves holding all of Tadase's DVDs. There was always a movie night at Tadase's sleepovers. The sooner they watched the movie, the sooner they fell asleep, the sooner Kukai could dream about Nadeshiko...

"What do you want to watch?" Kukai asked randomly.

"Nothing gory." Tadase shuddered. In reality, Tadase would rather watch gore than the tension between the two ex-friends. That was painful to any and everyone within a mile radus. He had to thank his own quick thinking about trying to solve this before they met the others because Tadase's and Tsukasa's foresight hinted that otherwise was not pretty.

Nagihiko timidly spoke next, "I guess we could watch 101 Dalmatians."

Kukai burst into roars of sudden laughter. Of course, Tadase's love of dogs. He was totally into those feel-good films where the animal with human intelligence saves the day. Nadeshiko always used to laugh at Tadase's youthfulness, promising to make a man of him yet. Oddly enough, Nadeshiko had always screamed in the violent films, often hiding her head in someones shoulder- more often than others, his, Kukais.

Kukai stiffened up, his eyes wide in surprise at the next thing he said. "I vote a scary film."_ A person can't change into what they're not... _But what the hell did Kaidou know about change? Where was _his_ Shugo Chara? Without offering an alternative, Kukai ripped the only scary film off the shelf and handed it to Tadase.

Tadase looked at it blankly. "The Dark Knight?"

Kukai nodded, receiving a rather curious look from the young Prince. Tadase didn't know where Kukai was going with that sudden decision, to quickly pick an action packed film from the others. Was this a test for Nagihiko? Tadase bit his lip, worriedly. Of course, if Kukai _did_ want to test Nagihiko to discover something, at least he, Tadase, was there to referee.

"This alright with you, Nagihiko?"

Nagihiko was more than reluctant to voice his real opinion at the movie, being so desperate to make amends with Kukai. He hadn't seen the film, but heard enough about it. Scary, he could deal with, violence was different. He nodded, mentally preparing himself for what was going to be a very long night.

* * *

They were all tucked in their sleeping bags leaning against the settees in front of the TV. Kukai was on the left, Tadase in the middle and Nagihiko on the right. The film began, the lights out and the volume up to a decent level. Kukai was quickly drawn into the film, his thoughts thankfully focused completely on the movie and not free to run wild on things he didn't want to think of.

Until the moment in the film he heard Nagihiko yelp. His head snapped to look at the boy, whose breathing was rather heavy, his face pale and sleeping bag tight around his neck. Nagihiko was afraid... he was hiding it.

"Sorry guys." Nagihiko said, smiling weakly. "I got surprised a second there."

_The person you knew is probably still in there, but just hiding. _Kukai pretended to turn back to the film, but was more interested in studying Nagihiko. He jumped; he sank lower to the floor; he closed his eyes tightly; he was practically hiding his head beneath his sleepbag now. The guy was generally afraid of violence- just like Nadeshiko! A wave of relief spread through Kukai, as he put two pieces together and slowly realized that the fear- the fear which caused _her_ discomfort, the fear which made _her_ cling to his arm- was not fake.

It was the first genuine thing Kukai knew, and had known all along.

He began smiling.

* * *

Tadase turned the TV off, while Nagihiko made a quick excuse to the bathroom. Then Tadase gave Kukai a look he never ever had expected to see on the Princes face.

"Souma-kun, what is going on?" Tadase asked sharply.

"I don't-"

"No! Don't pretend anything. Just tell me, please."

Kukai sighed, his brows coming together in a V form, not wanting to look darkly at his young friend but doing so anyway. "What's going on? You're asking me? Why don't you ask _Nagihiko_ what was going on! Ask Nagihiko what he was playing at, dressing as a girl and flirting with the other guys. Ask Nagihiko _where the hell Nadeshiko is_!"

There was silence, Tadase looking sadly at the ground unable to meet the furious jade orbs of his newer older brother since the loss of Ikuto. The one he looked up to. The one he, not Nagihiko, had let down.

"I should have told you." Tadase said quietly. "I should have told you everything. But I can't... not now. You need to hear Nagihiko tell you."

Kukai looked down at the same patch of ground, his eyes softening slightly. Tadase was taking the blame on himself. Why? Kukai fell in love with Nadeshiko, and Nagihiko led him on. It had nothing to do with Tadase.

"No... it's not you... it's... _Tadase_," he said, his voice almost yearning and pitched, "I_ loved_ her, Tadase. I fell for Nadeshiko. It hurt to see her go, but it killed to realize she never was. It hurts me more than anything to realize one of my closest friends isn't real, and-"

"You feel betrayed." Tadase finished quietly, pure anger in his normally calm voice. Kukai stared, shocked, as his friend continued, "you feel lost, confused, unsure of yourself. You can't tell what you did wrong, and you can't ask them either. You don't trust this person, whom you thought you knew and who knows everything about you, from highest hopes to darkest dreams."

"... yeah..." Kukai breathed out. He started feeling guilty at his selfish thought of believing no one understood him. Tadase spoke so honestly with such... depth... Tadase felt as he felt, about the same thing? No... he couldn't do. Something different but just as cruel.

And _Tadase was dealing with it. _Tadase seemed like the older brother now. This matter with Fujisaki wasn't even something Kukai could go to his brothers about, so he chose in that moment to take Kaidou's advice and ask Tadase.

"Do you think she ever loved me?" Kukai asked quietly. "See, Tadase, I can't help but wish at some point I had kissed Nadeshiko... and now I will never see her again..."

* * *

Nagihiko lent against the wall, feeling weak after hearing through the ajar door how Kukai truely felt. He had done a terrible thing to someone he cared about. If only he could make amends. If only he could let Kukai know he never meant any harm. Nagihiko fished Temari's egg out of his pocket, looking at her longingly. Temari would have helped him, she always did. The only thing as painful as how he felt now was when Temari was trapped inside her Egg. Nagihiko had lost a part of himself inside that Egg... a part of him that Kukai loved.

He had to get it back. He had to show Kukai where Nadeshiko was. And more than anything... he had to grant a wish.

* * *

**End of PART II-**

Sorry to those who thought the Dark Knight wasn't scary. I thought it was freakin' terrifying. Well acted, just terrifying. Plus it was the first thing I thought of whilst writing this. I don't know if Nagihiko is afraid of horror. He is in this fic. **:P **

Please **R**&**R**. It is hard for me to get Kukai's character right- most the story is his point of view- so if I've slipped up or made him different to how he would normally act to having his heart crushed by a crossdressing ex-best friend, lemme know! Even if you think I've made him too upset by it all! **:D**

**Thanks for Reading!**


	3. Trust Nadeshiko

**He'd have liked to've kissed Nadeshiko**

**Yoyo... :D**

Took me long enough again! Just want to quickly mention THANK YOU to reviewers and favoriters. Hopefully I'd have PM'd you, but if I haven't, just know it's really appreciated. **:D**

* * *

**Part III - **

They sat in their sleeping bags all facing each other in a circle formation. Tadase glanced anxiously at Kukai, as if expecting him to say something, do something, anything. Kukai was mentally fighting himself, refusing to even open his mouth to breath for fear what he might suddenly say to Nagihiko. Why couldn't they all just go to bed already?

Tadase choose to begin the conversation. "So, Nagihiko, tell us about your travels."

Nagihiko mentally swore at Tadase. Bring up the worst freaking thing to talk about! The air around the three was already too tight to breath in, and Tadase had to ask a direct question about the thing two out of three people in that room hated the most.

"Hang on!" came the little voice of Daichi, "where is Temari?"

Admittedly, Kukai had been in such shock he hadn't spared a thought for Nadeshiko's character, but now he thought about it... he looked at Daichi annoyed: Wasn't it obvious? Temari was as fake as Nadeshiko, and simply died with his old love who never existed. Still, a small part of him had to disagree after watching that film. The poor boy was in such a conflict with his emotions he felt on the edge to burst.  
What surprised him was Nagihikos saddened face, his eyes adverted away from the others. Silently he reached under his sleeping bag and pulled out a purple egg. "Temari... went back into her egg."

He couldn't hold back the escaped gasp. More confusion- Temari was _gone_ and yet _still with them_. What the hell was up with Nagihiko! Kukai could be as overjoyed as he felt that minute about seeing the customary egg that came with his old love, but he was still angry that the damn Fujisaki couldn't be simple- there _or_ not, instead of there _and_ not.

"While I was away, we came across so many types of dance. It made me realize that my family's style of dance is so small and insignificant... and then she disappeared." Nagihiko explained quietly. His voice made Kukai hiccup, for he spoke of dance with the passion and love Nadeshiko spoke of it in.

_She loved her dance... it was her life... _

Again, those quick brief glimpses of the girl he loved in the boy he despised.

"And then this egg appeared..." Nagihiko explained, revealing a blue egg with an identical pattern as Temaris'. It was then Kukai's mind snapped, for he chose to make a conclusion then and there. Nadeshiko had Temari, therefore this Nagihiko had the new egg and was not. It didn't exactly make sense, but it was his best answer that moment. He could further argue that Nadeshiko was just hidden inside Temaris egg, but then again, Temaris' egg was closed firmly and wasn't coming out for some time.

"I-I'm sorry..." Kukai murmured, most inaudibly. Was he? Maybe... maybe a little...

"I think I just... need to remember why... who she was, why I made her..." Nagihiko said, more to himself than them. "Likewise to how I got this one..." his hand clenched around the pink egg, as if his strength alone would split the egg open and Temari would fly out, making things better for all of them- making him _Nadeshiko_, the girl of dance and the one Kukai loved again.

Tadase watched the awkward silence develop over the two old friends. He wished he could do something about it, but this king had no authority over the minds of men. He knew he should have told Kukai at the beginning of the Guardians when they all first met. He had spotted instantly the attraction to each other, and he let it pass. Why? Because Nagihiko was trying to be a girl, he had to let Nagihiko act like one. But he also had to let Nagihiko be treated like one. He never thought Kukai would truly fall in love with the act though. A sliding crush, a temporary flirt, but nothing as serious as this...

As if the two minds were connected, Kukai spoke aloud, his green eyes refusing to meet the hazel orbs but his voice strong, determined and bland, so he would not hold back and he would find out exactly what he always wanted to know since... well, since this morning really, but what felt like an agonizing life-time wait.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a boy?"

* * *

Tadase and Nagihiko tensed at the question, and both caught each others eyes with worry on their sparkle. What to tell him... what? Simply, the truth. Give Souma Kukai the truth, he deserved it.

"I..." Nagihiko tried, "see, it's a family tradition for boys to be brought up to play a woman's dancing role... and I'm... I had too..."

"We didn't say," Tadase interrupted, feeling his friend about to fail, "because it is one thing to act like a girl, but another to be treated like one, especially around male figures." He fixed Kukai with honest eyes, "let's face it, boys hang around with boys and girls hang around with girls. The Guardians were like the one mixing place in school amongst girls and boys, and since you were the main boy in Nagihikos life... we just... we couldn't tell you."

Kukai mumbled a reply, for it made sense even if it was cruel. It didn't really justify him being led on, unless that had been part of the female experience Nagihiko was trying to say he needed.

"I was the only boy in school who knew." Tadase said. "Everyone else thinks Nadeshiko is a totally different person."

"I don't think they'll be too pleased..." Nagihiko said quietly, a weak smile upon his features. "Especially Amu-chan... how will she take the news?"

"She'll understand," Tadase replied firmly, "you've always been there one way or another." Kukai felt like choking himself. Nadeshiko had been there for him too, doesn't mean it worked. He knew exactly how Amu would react, not unlike himself. He noticed with unease the look upon Nagihikos face. It reminded him exactly of what his brother had said... _I felt really alone and not trusted._

After a moment of pure silence, Tadase put on a large smile. "I'm ready to hit the hay, anyone else?"

Both Kukai and Nagihiko nodded, letting Tadase get the lights, enclosing them in comforting darkness that they all wanted to slip away into.

* * *

Kukai had tossed and turned all through the night until 1:00 am, unable to sleep. His stomach was rumbling from lack of food, his throat was parched, and his head was pounding something awful. There was so much to think about regarding the Fujisaki...

_Just get up, get a drink, go back to bed. Let yourself sleep, Kukai, it's really not that hard..._

Kukai was so reluctant to rise, in case of waking them up. There was an invisible barrier preventing him from getting what he wanted. A drink, for heavens sake, how bloody hard are they to get? He didn't want to disturb or wake the others, without being able to place why in hell that was. It was a glass of water, no one would get at him for that, surely.

He slowly unzipped the sleeping bag, and rested with it open for a few minutes, continuing the internal debate. He turned to check, and saw both the sleeping figures tucked in ther bags with the fabrics so close it choked them. It looked pretty snug though, and Kukai felt pretty envious. He finally peeled the cover off and crawled out of the living room to go into the kitchen, using only the moonlight through the window to find his way to the sink. Shakily he grabbed at the nearest glass, filling it up with water and gulping greedily from it. His hands were tight on the worktop, his heavy breathing a sign that the drink had been well needed.

There was a quiet pacing clip-clopping noise behind him. Tadases mom had probably caught him, and was about to tell him off, the old cow was like that. Funny though, that the sound she made was like the sound of high heels when surely she would wear slippers at most... The sound came again. It wasn't really a clip-clop, it was more of a patter, but the patter that came from a sound he never forgot. He could never forget. Nadeshikos' boots sounded just like that.

He slowly turned.

The lack of food and headache must have done him something hard. Nadeshiko was there, her hair in her ponytail, her cape over her schoolgirl shoulders and uniform with the ridiculously short skirt and high boots. She glittered in the silver moonlight where she stood, her beautiful smile on her lips.

It wasn't real. He was imagining things. Surely. _Nadeshiko... _

She gracefully move to him, her curious smirk glowing silver. Kukai's breathing was getting a lot deeper, the heat rising to his face. She just looked so gorgeous. Just like he remembered her, just like the old days at school when he used to walk the corridors with Nadeshiko... He wanted to speak, he wanted to ask whenever it was really her. Please, let her be real. He just didn't have the voice to ask her. He just wanted to look at her.

An illusion, avatar, a _lie_... it didn't actually matter. She was in front of him. Inches away. If only his trembling fingers could brush against the cape she wore, maybe even her silky smooth hair. He never got the chance before...

He mouthed her name, she just blinked her long eyelashes in reply. So beautiful...

It couldn't be really described what happened next. She threw her arms around his neck, flinging her whole body into his and in sync he caught her, his arms tight around her waist and holding her ridiculously close. She was just a fantasy, but right now Kukais' imagination was his best friend. Their lips fought fiercely, and when Kukai wanted her to kiss harder she automatically did, bending to his every will the way a fantastic dream does. His hand cupped her neck, stroking her skin up to her cheek and kissing harder and harder, trying to show his best mirage what he'd never shown her before, how much he cared, and how he wanted her to have reacted to the news. Heat was spreading through his body, as his hands gently caressed her smooth milky skin and her lips claimed his again and again, leading him into the kiss this time. He'd always hoped Nadeshiko would be daring and take the lead. The kind of daring and challenging girl he liked...

He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead against hers, both heavy breathing. Tears were leaking out his eyes, as he finally found voice to cough out, "w-where's Temari?"

The Nadeshiko paused, very carefully removing herself from his arms. When she looked up, her own eyes were glittering with tears she held back. In the voice Kukai remembered, she spoke, and strangely, for it was deathly quiet and crystal clear, "Temari... is within me... you must believe in me..."

Kukai reached forward, grabbing her cool cheeks between his hot hands to kiss her passionately again. He couldn't bare to let her go. Not again. But there was that nagging feeling that made him need to ask. He pulled away, creating enough distance to speak but his lips brushing hers when he did, "Nagihiko... is he real?"

For a few moments after he spoke, he actually felt sorry for poor Nagihiko, who had been forced to live a life secret, who had been forced to lie to others for his dance, especially since Temari was trapped within her egg moments after discovering how insignificant his dance, the lies he spun, the life he led, was worth.

"We are same." she replied in that echoy sweet voice."He is me... I am him... you must believe in me..."

Kukai, the tears still thickly flowing, kissed her firmly. "I do. I will, always."

She put enough distance between them to give him a huge smile. Silently, she took several steps back. "I find Temari for the both of us."

Rooted to the spot, Kukai smiled. The Nadeshiko stopped moving and looked at the glass beside him. Kukai turned to fill it up for her, but when he looked back the kitchen was empty. He was no longer dreaming, he was awake now. He wiped his cheeks rid of the tears-

Then it hit him. He just spent those few minutes dreaming about his old love and cried all the way through it. He hurriedly tipped the glass of water away, slamming the glass on the worktop and rushing to the living room. Nagihiko was still there, in the same position, tucked under his sleeping bag and calmly breathing the breath that came with sleep.

But then Kukai smiled. In those brief moments with the Nadeshiko, he had slowly come to realize how similar they really were. Besides, a nice person won't become nasty for the hell of it. Nagihiko didn't become Nadeshiko for the hell of it. He had something to achieve by being her, and Temari disappearing was hindering his goals. Kukai should be helping Nagihiko, for he was the one scared of horror films, who spoke of dance with love, who owned Temari. Nadeshiko was in there.

When Kukai crept under his sleeping bag, he fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Nagihiko heard the snores that came with the Souma boy in a deep sleep. Tadases words had hit him. He had always been there for Amu, and he had always been there for Kukai, one way or another. He started grinning at the noises. To think he had stayed up half the night to hear this. Some might call it ridiculous. It was also ridiculous to have kept his old female uniform in his bag, and to have changed within seconds acting on impulse. He had gained the art of quickly dressing when he had to change in the female changing rooms, meaning he quickly went in and out without letting the girls get a good glimpse of his person.

The changing rooms had been where he first heard the other girls discussing Souma Kukai, talking about how badly they wanted to impress him with their sporting talents and how jealous they were with Nadeshiko for being so close to him all the time. She, or he, had laughed, and just listened to how they described him, how they tried to understand him when they didn't get it just right. For example, they didn't know when something was bothering him- they just thought he was always happy. Nadeshiko, Nagihiko, knew that when Kukai was up, he ordered the soccer team around slightly more, forgetting to praise them so much, acting slightly distracted in the Royal Gardens and not responding quite so enthusiastically to Yaya. And they didn't quite understand Kukai's attitude with girls either, thinking they could impress him by talent alone. Nadeshiko listened to him when he fancied talking, and Nadeshiko helped him when he brows frowned - the sign of a homework task too strenuous. The feeling that came with being so close to someone, to be trusted and cared about like it was between Nadeshiko and Kukai was something the girls of the changing room would not come close to understanding. The one thing she, he, most certainly always agreed on was that at some point, he'd have liked to've kissed Kukai.

He smiled at what had just happened. He never expected it to work so well, and he was pretty thankful Kukai was so out of it that it _did_ work. He had, what, seconds to jump back under the sleeping bag, pull the hairband out and wipe away the tears Kukai has brushed onto his cheeks. Now was just the awkward task of undressing under the bag without waking the Souma boy up... but by looking at him.. it wouldn't be so hard... not hard at all.

* * *

Nagihiko and Tadase sat side by side at the dining table, slowly eating their way through some pancakes Mrs. Hotori had been kind enough to make. It was late that morning, Kukai was asleep when they both got up and decided to let him sleep. Worry was beginning to creep back into Nagihikos thoughts. What if Kukai expected something? What if Kukai _knew_? He'd be furious! Well Kukai kissed him first- well, actually, it was a joint effort... _oh crap. _

The door creaked behind him, making him second, he expected Kukai to realize, to yell, to condemn, to ruin all chances of a friendship...

"Good morning all!" Kukai sang, throwing his arms over both his friends heads and pulling them into a Kukai-styled painful hug.

"S-Souma-kun!" Tadase gasped, "W-what'reyou-!"

Nagihiko, without the self-control that would have of course prevented him talking, acted once more on impulse, pulling against Kukai's strong arm and crying, "Aaah, _you're messing up my hair_!"

Kukai paused for a moment before letting out roars of laughter, his grip on the purplehead getting tighter. Nagihiko had sounded _just like_ Nadeshiko- well without the voice- proving once again his old love was in there. He just had to believe in her. And until they met again, he had a new friend to get to know properly. And frankly, it wouldn't be that hard. Besides... Nagihiko was kinda cute. He'd deal.

Tadase and Nagihiko began joining in. Tadase? He had no idea what was going on. There was that unknown secret between the two friends like there was in the days they were together as Queen and Jack. He smiled to himself. As King, he'd let that pass, and as King he would watch from the sidelines, protecting his friends but giving them freedom and support they deserved. But he was grateful, no matter what the hell had happened, that they had sorted something out between them. Now they could move on. Soon, even, there would be days when his friend, Souma Kukai, could walk the halls with Fujisaki Nagihiko as best friends and equals, at least.

_Trust Nadeshiko to make everything better, _Kukai thought, giving both his chums a hair ruffling, before pulling up the seat opposite them and helping himself to the plate of pancakes, eating hungrily. He occasionally glanced at Nagihiko, their eyes meeting in a comforting glance, and he would smile a honest smile at his old friend. Kukai only had to look hard enough to spot that Nagihiko and Nadeshiko had the same challenging sharp eyes. Likewise, Nagihiko could see Kukai had not changed into a nasty person like he had suspected upon first meeting him. Kukai was no different. It would be a case of finding each other.

In fact, they had all the time in the world.

* * *

**End. **

Whoo! I typed all this chappy in two sittings taking about three-four long hours. Therefore, I hope it satisfactory to everyone who's read, and they haven't just had a huge massive disappointment. I think I tried to end it on a stalemate, because in the series Nagihiko discovers Nadeshiko _(wakes up Temari)_ much much later. I could totally continue this on that thought actually. I might do.

So please** R**&**R** if I've missed anything, or you can see something that's not quite right, because I can go back and edit. I 9 times out of 10 do, but it helps to have something to go on.

**Thanks for Reading!** And from the crew here, Tadase, Kiseki, Daichi, Nagihiko and Kukai (**^_^** sorry, had to) **MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


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